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:iconccrystal14: More from CCrystal14




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August 27, 2011
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Nightfall. Nighttime. Night. Darkness. Stars. Moon. Wait... moon? Moon, round and bright. Crescent shaped. Moon. Sun? No, sun is gone. No sun. Good. Sun is bad. Sun is evil. Darkness is good. Darkness is perfection.

Now we build.

Bit by bit, block by block. Darkness consumes, but no matter. Moonlight enough, more then enough. So I build-- we build. They are not far, but I am alone. Black skin. White eyes. Long arms. Long legs. Tall, too tall. Building, always building (but why?)

Sandcastles (previous night). Wooden tower (not mine). Waves of the ocean--

OCEAN!


OCEAN! AWAY get


away get away

get away get away
get away get away--


Safety.

Safe.

I escaped. Water far away. Keep it away. Building again. Towers, pyramids, anything, everything. Far away, they are far away. I cannot see them. Oh well, must build, they will be fine.

Small tower, getting larger. No joy, never joy, must build. Resources, need them now. Sand easy to aquire, dirt harder...

Eyes.

Watched. Am I being watched?

Turning, turning, AH! Eyes! Person! Being!

PersonThingBeingWatchingMeWatchingEyesPersonBeingThingStaring.

It stares at me. It is watching me. I will watch it. It wants my building. It wants my things, my resources. It wants me to DIE.

Posession. MY THINGS! MINE. I will destroy it. The staring thing. Why does it watch me? Why else would it? Attack. Must attack. When it turns away... Attack. Attack. Fists. Rage, ever consuming. Tear it apart. Use its head. Yes. Place it atop the built thing. Blood. Yes. YES! It will not destroy. No.

I WILL DESTROY.

Staring. Forever. Scared. It is scared. Eyes wide. Fast breathing. Not that far away.
Brethren. Where are they? Must find them. Later, though. First, must watch. Must destroy.

It has weapons. They glint in the moonlight Fear. Scared. I am scared. It can destroy me. Destroy my buidling. Rip me apart--

No.

NO!

I will wait. Attack unnanounced. Destroy. Kill. Yes.

"Hello?" It speaks.

IT SPEAKS. It wants me to respond. Will not give satisfaction. No. Cannot respond. Whatever. Whatever. Eyes on pickaxe. Yes. Use to mine resources. To build. Yes! Eyes on sword. Shimering in moonlight. Moon. Overhead now. Night is ending soon. Must attack. Must kill. Protect me, protect building.

Unimpressed. Frowning. Wanted me to be weak. Wanted me to crawl away. Yes. Yes. Evil thing. Must die. Must die.

Stare. Stare. Stare. Stare.

Moving away. Yes. Perfect.

I am still.

It blinks.

It turns.

....

I jump.




Running. Jumping. Sand gone. Building behind me.
Attack.
ATTACK.
ATTACK.

KILL.


DESTROY.


Golden sword out. Golden sword for defense. Claws (my claws) ripping into it. Screaming. It is screaming in pain. My ears, MY EARS! I attack harder. I rip harder. Slashed at by sword. Black blood oozing from me. Attack more. Rip. Tear. Hit. Punch Rip Hit Tear Rip AttackHitTearRip...

Screaming subsides. Blood gushing everywhere. Everywhere. Sticky mess. Like water, but less. Good.

I turn. Green thing stares. Black eyes. Fear. It explodes (can explode). Destroy everthing I create! Will not attack. Cannot attack. It hisses.
Upset? I stole its kill?
Bonecrushing fear. Fear. Fear!

....

"Hisssssss." Silent. Will it explode?

....

And it retreats. Tension ceases. Relief.

And I am alone, body bleeding, tools lying on the ground. No mouth, cannot smile, but feel good. Yes. Tools! Lifting the blue pickaxe. Joy. Unending joy. I can build faster. (Build more.) Shovels. Good. Armor too small (covered in blood). Moon glinting off the surface. What? Axe. Axe. For trees? Wood! Create better structures. Wood. Helpful.

My bag now. My tools now.

Discard the sword (claws work better). Leave the body. Cannot carry head. Leave it. Return to structure. Moon only watches. Others come, watch my progress. Pride, but not done. Never done.

Digging until morning. Mining until morning. And then we hide.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep.
Jesus Christ on a stick, thank you my lovelies for the amazing comments, and the amazing feedback. I'm glad you like it as much as you do! I implore you (shameless self advertising) to check out my other Minecraft fanfictions. Thanks a bunch!

So in this upcoming Minecraft update, there's going to be a new mob called the Enderman <3 The second I heard how it acts, I simply HAD to write something for it. Mind you, I know very little about these thingies, so I winged most of it.

The creeper hisses as a kind of warning (since its not intent on exploding Mr. Enderman here) and I know that's not how it works in the game, but bear with me.

Minecraft does not belong to me. Neither does the Enderman.
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:iconthevolcaronamaster:
Critique by TheVolcaronaMaster Mar 20, 2012, 10:13:35 PM
This was perfect. The writing gives me the idea of being inside an Enderman's head and you portrayed this beautifully with the choppy sentences and repeating words. However, I docked some points because at some points the text did not feel right. Black blood oozing from me. The sentence loses the same style and rhythm used on previous ones, making it a little awkward to read. And I am alone, body bleeding, tools lying on the ground. Again, the sentence seems a bit too long compared to the other ones making it awkward.

Now this is an original idea. Writing something about the thoughts going on inside an Enderman is pretty unique and you show it masterfully. But of course I cannot give you full points because Enderman are the creation of someone else.

I seem to be repeating myself when I say that you portray the thoughts of an Enderman with finesse, but it's true. The way you repeated certain words and made them bigger and smaller is very impressive and makes the text more dynamic and gives it more feeling.

I am completely impressed by this piece and look forward to more.
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:icongreendonutbot400:
greendonutbot400 Featured By Owner 21 hours ago  Hobbyist Artist
My god...You should do more like this!
Reply
:iconninjagoxmlpfan:
ninjagoxmlpfan Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  New member Student Filmographer
This Story is so cool!!!!!!!!!! I Love enderman!
Reply
:iconbittykitty1:
BittyKitty1 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014
*rolls around squealing*

Enderman are my favorite mobs on Minecraft. Finding this was amazingsauce (I read this before I had an account and was INTENT on finding it again and favoriting it when I got an account).

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Reply
:iconendlesshell:
EndlessHell Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
OOoh a perfect text, I can now guess what Endermans are thinking *^* nice job I found it really cute :3 Enderman is my favourite character on minecraft :D <3
Reply
:iconmeanya:
meanya Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
I loved it!!!
Reply
:iconyesiplayminecraft:
yesiplayminecraft Featured By Owner May 12, 2014
Beautiful work! Amazing job! I love it!
Reply
:iconbentheghost:
Bentheghost Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
i love this. the enderman is my favourite thing in minecraft and this is amazing
Reply
:iconcookiemilkshake:
CookieMilkShake Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014
This is wonderful! It shows the behavior of, in my opinion, the most mysterious mob of the whole game.
Reply
:iconendermanlover16200:
endermanlover16200 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Must. Have. MORE!!!!!!  NaNoEmo day 25 - Please? 
Reply
:iconaura-shadow-beckett:
Aura-Shadow-Beckett Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
I want to help him build his towers.... Please *puppy eyes*
Reply
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